For the MotherLAN!

I participated in a RAG (Random Act of Geekiness) this week. While attending an open house at my school, I was somehow pulled into the cult-like gathering that is a LAN party. Now, I’m still not exactly sure what that stands for, but I think it involves lizards.
Upon arriving at the Party, located approximately 218.034 miles from anything, I entered the garage, and was greeted by the sight of many geeks, faces illuminated with the alien blue glow of flickering monitors, and the sound of crumpling chip bags, the swallowing of Mountain Dew (I’m pretty sure that the only reason Mountain Dew is still made is because of LAN parties and Dungeons & Dragons--it’s like geek fuel. They seriously have a flavor called “Game Fuel“), and shouts of “Pwnd!” “You’re gay!” “Your mom’s gay!”. Such is the maturity of socialization-starved geeks. To think that I was the youngest person there.
Now, don’t get me wrong--I had a great time at the party. It’s just that there were some very disturbing demonstrations of geekdom, bordering on “What the FUCK?!”. For example, right before I got there, a dude got married at the party. Now, I don’t know about you, but if I were a woman, and my fiancé wanted to get married at a LAN party, I would immediately starngle him with his own keyboard (unless it was wireless. Then I'd use a crossover cable or something) and run away with a male model from Paraguay. This may be part of the reason I am not a woman.
Now, for the level geek I am, two full days of gaming is a LOT. So, thankfully, we took breaks to participate in such wholesome outdoor activities such as Airsoft, in which you hide in a shed and shoot people around you with small plastic pellets, and LAC-ing (I put it in capitals because I think it stands for Live Action Combat), where you take sticks coated with foam and duct tape, a bash each other with them. That was pretty fun. Testosterone + Foam Covered Sticks = Awesome.
So when Monday evening came, and it was time for me to go, I couldn’t help feeling a little sad--as I thought about the last few days, a wave of memories washed over me…my first sip of Mountain Dew “Game Fuel” , my first Airsoft bullet to the ear, my first multiplayer round of Counter-Strike, and my first feeling of amazement upon seeing the garage full of homophobic dorks. I turned to wave goodbye, but my arm hurt too much from being walloped with a foam sword by a zombie.